Celery
by FrankandJoe3
Summary: Who knew that a vegetable could lead to such fun? KF/Rob


**Based on Tosh.0, my NEW FAVORITE SHOW because of this one celery make-out scene they had between two guys… let's just say the rewind button got a nice work out today (: And that I'll be dreaming of two hot guys tonguing over celery. **

**Celery **

The restaurant was nice and peaceful in their section. There were only a few occupied tables in the 'No Smoking' section at the restaurant at 10 o'clock p.m. The team rarely went out to eat which is why tonight was such a special occasion. It was just Kaldur, Artemis, Wally and Dick in the booth though. Megan and Superboy were probably off in a closet at Mt. Justice, enjoying the escape from the rest of them. They had already started eating, all except Kaldur.

Wally had a plate of ribs which he had miraculously managed to not slop all over the place. Dick had a normal cheeseburger, his sunglasses on the table beside him. Artemis was eating some strange Spanish titled plate of shrimp nachos. Kaldur had ordered some big fancy dinner title, but it was taking forever because of how it had to be cooked. Impatiently watching his friends eat, he caught the eye of a waitress.

"Excuse me, can I get a plate of celery?"

He regretted saying it already. He liked eating healthy, but his other two male companions didn't take too kindly to his food choice. Blue eyes met emerald eyes in a knowing trademark smirk glance. Then they both turned to Kaldur with a "dude, seriously?" face.

"Celery?" Wally repeated.

Kaldur lifted his hands for a second and he looked away from them.

"Are you serious! Do you want a side of tampons with that?" Wally continued.

Dick covered his mouth with his hands and giggled at that. He had been trying harder lately to be respectful, but being friends with Wally made that harder than it should've been. He couldn't help himself.

"Hey miss, can we get a hardback edition of the Notebook for this guy to read while he has his _celery_?"

Wally grinned, nudging Dick lightly and highfiving him.

"Grow up," Artemis rolled her eyed.

"After you, bitch," Wally's tone was filled with love though, making it not as much of an insult as it could've been.

The waitress tried not to roll her eyes to noticeably as she set the plate of celery down in front of Kaldur.

"Your food should be out in five minutes," she said apologetically, getting away from the table as quickly as she could.

Kaldur sighed as he could tell Wally had something in mind. He was right. The ginger picked up a piece of celery and turned to Dick, his eyes full of mischief.

"Who do I remind you of?" he asked teasingly before slipping the celery in and out of his mouth suggestively.

If that itself wasn't embarrassing enough, the noises he made only worsened the situation. Kaldur face palmed lightly, his face going red. Artemis's face burned red and she turned her attention to her food for the moment.

"Don't do this," Kaldur pleaded helplessly.

"And then he'd be sharing it with another dude like, er, come here a sec," Dick's intentions were strange, but Wally turned so him and his celery were facing his ebony companion.

Dick put his lips on the other end of the celery, worsening Kaldur's blush. Dick mimicked Wally with noises and it went from awkward to sexual. The dark skinned boy at the table looked left to right to make sure no one he knew was there. Artemis's eyes unconsciously rose from her food. She was curious as to where this was going. Wally began to hum the sexiest music he could think of. The sound vibrated through the celery stalk, making Dick catch Wally's eyes in surprise for a moment before they shared the same thought.

"Come on guys, we're in public!" Kaldur began to say, but his words were cut off in surprise as Dick and Wally's lips got closer and closer together.

Dick ate about three inches from the stalk as his pink lips moved down, swallowing just as Wally's lips hungrily met his, the other half of the stalk still in the ginger's mouth.

"R-Really?" Kaldur's eyes bugged and he averted them, his face turning a dark scarlet.

Artemis's face turned the same shade, but she didn't avert her eyes. Dick and Wally didn't notice. Dick didn't notice though. The celery had actually tasted good. He wanted more, but the only celery he would bother to get was in the mouth connected to his. He was willing to fight for it. Wally's hand flew to his neck to steady them, running his fingers through the black locks. Dick's tongue hungrily went after the rest of the celery. The redhead never was one for sharing though. He moved the celery to the bottom of his mouth and fought Dick's tongue back into its kingdom. The ebony set his own hand to the back of Wally's neck, backing up for a quick breath before he went back to reclaim the lips that were inches from his.

Wally beat him to it though, his lips quickly covering the Boy Wonder's again. Dick still wanted the celery though, and he made quick work to evacuate it from Wally's mouth, gently sliding it into his own mouth. Wally grunted in disapproval, but he couldn't help but smile in ecstasy as he slipped his tongue past Dick's lips to get it back. The blue eyed babe made quick work, shoving the celery to the side of his mouth, fighting to defend his prize.

Kaldur buried his face in both of his hands, groaning in embarrassment. Part of him expected to feel Artemis pat him on the back or to yell at Wally and Dick for making out in public, but she was too busy being mesmerized to yell. Kaldur knew that they'd run out of steam eventually though, so he just kept his eyes closed and kept on counting. Wally managed to live up to his title as the Kid Flash though. He made quick work of the celery, moving it from the side of Dick's cheek to across the back of his tongue before pulling it back into his own mouth. He went to do what Dick did and bite off what he had, but by the time he bit down, Dick had managed to get half of it back into his own mouth, so they both got the same amount.

Wally pressed a final angry kiss to the lips that he made a note to claim as his own later before pulling his hand back to cup Dick's pale face, pulling their lips apart. His emerald eyes opened steadily, his blush barely noticeable. Dick's eyes fluttered and he looked like he wanted more, but he said nothing, chewing up his celery silently, trapped in his daze. Wally's eyes lingered on his sparkling lips in the light before turning to Kaldur, chewing up his celery. He still had his head high up on Cloud 9, but he was trying to resurface.

"T…" he forgot how to speak for a moment before he took a deep breath. "That's what you'd look like…"

"If you were gay," Dick finished hypnotically, his heavy blush lingering lightly.

They glanced at each other again shyly before dropping their arms back to their sides and turning back to their food. Artemis was still hypnotized, her body frozen, her eyes locked on the two of them. Kaldur's face was still scarlet, but he didn't feel hungry anymore. He pushed the celery forward effortlessly.

"You can have it," he mumbled, feeling sick, "I… I'm not hungry."

Dick shrugged, picking up one and taking a bite.

"Suddenly, a hardback edition of the Notebook doesn't sound so bad," he said to himself, glancing back at Wally.

The redhead just smirked.

**This was the Tosh.0 scene… sort of. There were two guys that tongued over celery and then one guy who actually ordered the celery. I had to bring Artemis because I didn't want Aqualad to go alone… I still hate him… Hmm… Oh well, hope you liked this. It was… different… I didn't feel comfortable writing it… but looking back now, it wasn't nearly as bad as I made it seem. I'm just a weenie. Night. **

**-FrankandJoe3**


End file.
